One Size Fits Most

Saturday, January 29, 2005



The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one...

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good Laugh! Or men who need a warning. And remember: Money talks.... But Chocolate sings

Friday, January 28, 2005

For What its Worth

I was reading a book about a boy who collects pennies. I thought to myself, who would want to collect pennies? They are annoying. They make my purse heavy and they are dirty. But if you look closely at a penny, there is a message. Right on the top of the Lincoln side. It says "In God We Trust." Now I'm not trying to get into a political discussion about whether our country was founded on christian principles, so chill out. But it could be a reminder for us all to trust in God, in everything, even the littlest thing. After all, the Bible says he knows the # of hairs on our heads. He created each and every one of us individually. And he wants more than anything for us to have a relationship with Him and totally trust in Him. So the next time you see a penny, let it remind you to trust even in the little things. The things that weigh you down, take up space in your life. Be thankful you have a penny. Some people dont have any. If you have one, its because you have a job, or because someone gave it to you.
Ok, I'm off the pulpit now. Thoughts, comments, editorials?

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Things that tick me off

This really ticked me off...yesterday I was late for work. I overslept. The parking lots fill up quickly because its a hospital, most people are in by 8am. So I'm driving around 3 different parking lots to look for a spot. Finally I find one and I'm dashing (2blocks) to work. I pass by a City of Memphis vehicle.....PARKED NEXT TO A FIRE HYDRANT. Ugh. It gets better. IN A NO PARKING ZONE. Here comes the guy who's driving it. Guess what he's been doing? WRITING TICKETS. The day went downhill from there. I just wanted to go home and start over!!

Woo Hoo

This is my first post, and my first attempt at something called blogging.
My thing is, who is going to care about anything I have to say? My family doesnt listen to me, I dont even listen to me! So here's what I'll do. I'll put on here anything that comes to my mind about my life or my day, provided its clean and short. You post your comments and we'll see what happens.
Have a great day!